Letting Go: Finding Relationship with Christ

Lately, I have been thinking about and hearing Christ speak to me about his disciples. I have been admiring and reflecting on how Christ accepted them and invited them into relationship just the way they were. I think of how the first disciples were mere fishermen. Fishermen today are a tough bunch of guys, they talk tough, drink hard and work harder. They are hard men making a tough living. These are not typically the kind of guys you would find in our churches today. I also think about Luke, a tax collector. He, too, was called to follow Jesus just as he was. The tax collector image today doesn’t have nearly the negative connotation that it did in Jesus’ day. It seems that ambulance chasing lawyers are a better picture of how the tax collectors were thought of. Jesus didn’t ask these guys to take inventory of the sin in their lives and then pray the sinner’s prayer before allowing them into relationship. He simply said, “Follow me.” In other words, live with me and I will show you how rich life can be. It was through a relationship with Jesus, spending time with him and listening to him speak that the disciples came to be the great men of faith that we know them as.

This revelation has challenged me to look at the way I approach my walk with Christ. Until recently, I have been treating my relationship with Christ like a list of do’s and don’ts. I have been caught up in trying to be close to Christ through forcing prayer time and forcing reading time. I have attempted to live up to an expectation for my walk with Christ. I only recently have given up those expectations of what a “good” or “healthy” Christianity looks like. I have resolved to simply have a relationship with Christ. I have resolved to simply talk with him, have him lead me and have him show me and tell me what he wants me to hear. This has made all the difference in my life. I have felt an amazing sense of relief; a freedom to be who I am in the presence of Jesus. The intimacy I have with Christ has increased tenfold.

The amazing and mildly ironic thing about all of this is that I have reached this point of relationship by letting go of expectations rather than accepting them. It has only been the act of letting go of my expectations of what a healthy relationship with Christ looks like that I actually reached a healthy relationship with Christ. I now look forward to getting up early enough to have an hour of alone time with Christ. I feel like I can’t stop reading the Bible or books about Jesus. I have found this to be refreshing and embarrassingly simple. I challenge you to let go. Let go of your expectations and ideas of what a “healthy” relationship with Christ is supposed to look like. Let go and simply follow him. Stop talking… listen… hear from him.

Being With God: Just Be

The other day I was reading my Bible and having quiet time when something happened that changed my view of my relationship with God. I had been up since 6:00, started a pot of coffee and finished reading the daily One Year Bible readings. I had also just finished reading a chapter in Walking with God by John Eldredge. After I was finished reading I started my typical prayer time of sitting in the quiet listening for God to speak to me about the day and my life. I had just started praying when I heard my son’s footsteps coming up the stairs. This is my son that wakes up with a burst of energy and ready for the day. My immediate thought was, “Great, there goes my quiet prayer time.” Then another thought came to my head, “What if I invite him to participate with me.” So, I invited him to come over and sit on my lap. I told him that I was just about to pray for a bit and invited him to pray with me. It was great; we sat and prayed silently together for a few minutes. Just a few minutes praying together in the morning felt right…it felt good… it was a feeling that I had never felt before as a parent. After we prayed together he sat on my lap for a few more minutes and we simply sat together…talked together…were together. We didn’t converse in a very profound way; we simply talked about the day and about the things that he was excited about. I was able to give him my opinions on a few things. Nothing monumental happened. It was just felt right being together in the quiet morning and hearing him express his excitement about his life to me.




It wasn’t until later that it dawned on me that this must be what God meant for our relationship with him to be like: simple, relaxed, intimate, personal, real, honest and daily. James was simply being with his dad; I was simply being with my son. We weren’t following some ten step check list on how to know each other better. I simply invited him into my presence, onto my lap and we were together. I think of Adam and his relationship with God. The account in Genesis 3 says that Adam and Eve heard God walking in the garden. Verse 9 says “Then the Lord God called to the man ‘Where are you?’” God was not just walking in the garden looking for Adam; he was calling for him inviting him to walk with him. After the tragedy of the fall and sin the ability for true relationship was broken until Jesus came to earth and died, as a sacrifice, to restore that relationship. In the book of John Jesus prays for all believers, that we would be intimate with him as he is intimate with the Father. This intimacy comes from just being in his presence, not through rules, not through doing the right thing, not through acting like you are good enough to be a friend of God. To restore our relationship with God we start by simply entering the presence of God. Enter his presence, curl up on his lap, talk. Tell him what makes you excited, nervous, scared and moved. Then wait. Continue to stay in his presence and listen for his response. You may feel something that you have never felt before. You will feel a deep intimacy with a Father that knows you and loves you with all that he has.

Manhood and Guns 4 of 4: God's S.W.A.T.

I would contest that God created our manhood to be used everyday. We shouldn’t be absent. We aren’t meant to be empty men walking around on display. Our power shouldn’t be destructive. I believe that God is calling all men to carry their manhood like those guns carried by the police or military personnel. If you think about it, this is the ultimate purpose for all guns, right? Guns should be used in the hands of a trained operator who knows when to pull it out and is confident about when and how to use it. I am not a huge reader, I know some guys who read nearly 20 books a year, I am lucky to get through four. When I do read a book I like action and suspense. Recently, I read the book “House to House” by SSG David Bellavia. It is a first hand account of a group of soldiers who were among the first to enter the city of Baghdad during Operation Iraqi Freedom. One thing that amazed me about some of the fire fights that they were involved in is how every man in the platoon had a specific gun. He was trained better than anyone else in the platoon on how to use his weapon. At one point in the take over of Baghdad the platoon is pinned to a roof top in the middle of the city. At dawn a huge fire fight breaks out with nearly every rooftop around them covered with insurgents. The Sergeant, David Bellavia, has to direct his men like a conductor directs a symphony. He had to order the Squad Automatic Weapon (SAW) to fire one direction, while ordering the PKM in the other direction, simultaneously directing the AT4 (an anti tank weapon) to fire in other precise locations. These men trained for years with these weapons, they knew how to use them and when to use them. When they all used them as their sergeant directed they survived even brutal direct fire from the enemy. The fire fight lasted for nearly and en entire 24 hours. At times the incoming fire and counter fire was so intense that men could not stop shooting even to go to the bathroom. Most men in the platoon had to relive themselves right where they stood. This is the picture of manhood that I see when guys use it properly. They are intimate with their weapons; they know the ins and outs of their manhood. They have spent time understanding how God has designed them and know what their specific purpose in this life is. Most of all, they use their manhood when and where it is most needed and never let up. Even when distractions come, their manhood is so focused on protecting the ones around them that personal needs and desires are ignored. Sometimes this costs them comfort and dignity. This is the manhood that Christ has called us to. I believe that Christ describes this in Matthew 10. Jesus tells us some very hard things to hear starting in verse. 28:


28 “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell.[j] 29 What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin[k]? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. 30 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

32 “Everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. 33 But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven.

34 “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.

35 ‘I have come to set a man against his father,

a daughter against her mother,

and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.

36 Your enemies will be right in your own household!’[l]

37 “If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine. 38 If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. 39 If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.

Jesus tells us that God our Father loves us more than we can imagine; that God our Father made us perfectly the way that we are. WE ARE SPECIAL! But in the same passage Jesus tells us to BEWARE! There is something bigger going on in this world. He came to not bring peace but a sword…If you don’t take up your cross and follow him you are not worthy of being his. I believe Jesus is telling us, “Beware! I gave you special talents, special skills; I made you and your manhood. You have to submit them to me and let me show you how to use them right. I will train you. This fight is not easy; it pits brother against brother, father against son.” When we do submit our manhood to Jesus by taking up our cross he will give us life and we will have life eternal!

Think about this, how can we take up our cross with our manhood? This week ask Jesus to show you. Beware of areas in your life where you need to “take up your cross” and grab hold of the gun, the manhood that God gave you. If you have been using your manhood as a destructive tool, give that up to Christ, lay that at the cross. He will show you how to use your manhood properly. He will train you to use your weapon properly. If you have been afraid to use your manhood, Jesus will give you the strength to pick it back up. Dig that gun from the closet and learn to use it again. If you have been abusing your manhood, Jesus can help you with that as well. Jesus told us before he left the earth that he was sending us his Holy Spirit to help us. The Holy Spirit can give us the strength to change the way we use our manhood. Our manhood, when used correctly, can save lives, protect the innocent, rescue our families, and restore the kingdom. So our challenge as men is to pick up our cross by picking up our manhood. I pray that God, through the Holy Spirit and the power of Christ, will show you how to pick up your gun and use it properly.

Men and Guns 3 of 4: Loose Cannons

The third way that men use their manhood is likened to the gun or gun user that is destructive. Lately there have been accounts of professional athletes packing heat. One guy even brought his guns to work, in the locker room! I am constantly hearing of crazy shootings in the inner city, as well. Just yesterday a man was working on clearing the roads in Kansas City in a snowplow. He had been working for a long time and decided to take a break. While he was sitting in his parked snowplow taking a break some guy drove up, pulled his gun and shot him dead. What? Are you serious? Is this how some men feel they have to act to be “real” men; does offing people at random show that we are tough? I know men who do this with their manhood as well. They intimidate people for no reason. They drive like maniacs just so that the guy behind them won’t “beat” them in the race down the highway to work. They blow up at their kids when there is discipline to be dealt. They hurl insults at the ones they love because they have to “protect” their emotions. They have to destroy others to feel like a man. This, too, is no way for a man to live and use the manhood that God created for him. This is a serious lie that Satan has told many of us, or has convinced us is the truth about ourselves. God has a better plan for our manhood.

Men and Guns 2 of 4: Man without purpose

One common use of a guy’s manhood is the absent manhood. He keeps his gun hidden and never takes it out of the closet. Just like the gun is absent, so is his manhood. A lot of guys I know understand the power of their lives and their manhood, but they are too scared to let it out. They are like the guns that never see the light of day. Because this man is so scared of what might happen when the gun is used he never touches it and keeps it hidden in the back of his closet or in a safe. There are lots of reasons this can happen. He may have had a man “blast” him as a child and thus turned away from his manhood ever since. Some men made vows to themselves to never use there manhood like their father did. The problem with this is they don’t use it at all. They keep it locked up and stored away, scared of what might happen if it sees the light of day. This is no way for us to live. If we are to live the life that Christ has called us to then we have to face our manhood and embrace it, use it, take it from the closet and begin to understand how it works. Be cautious at this point, though. It’s easy to begin to use manhood the way we’ve been taught. If your past was a bad example of manhood then you need to recognize the changes that you’ll need to make. With the help of Christ you can be a man unlike your past examples. You can be a positive role model of manhood for your children.


As I also stated before, there are men who treat their manhood like an empty gun. These guns are on display, they look real, they feel real, and they can be intimidating. However, when push comes to shove, the chamber is empty. These guys are the ones you see living the life of macho men. You know the type. He watches sports all weekend, he drives the car or truck he can’t afford, he owns the biggest boat on the block. He feels macho and manly because of what he has and can show to others. This guy is just like that unloaded gun. There is no power, no meaning, and no purpose. Sure, his friends might think he is manly, a guys guy, but generally his friends are unloaded men as well. If we are honest with ourselves, we know we all act this way from time to time. It is one of the lies that we like to believe. Living this way is no way to live, and it is an empty example to set for our children, especially our boys.

Manhood and Guns: Part 1of 4

I was thinking today while driving from one store to the next, “The men of this world are just a bunch of guns running around.” As I pondered this for a few seconds I thought, “Yeah, we are… our manhood itself is like a gun.” We have the power to destroy lives, we have the power to protect lives, and we have the power to save lives. Guns are an awesome thing; they changed the entire history of the world. Armies found that they could fight much more efficiently when they had fire power. With enough firepower men can take over entire countries. Some have even tried to conquer entire continents using the power of guns. I began to think about how a gun makes me feel when I see one; the awe, the reverence, the hint of fear and a little bit of boyish excitement. I also feel these things when I see some men wielding their manhood. I have observed that men carry their manhood much in the same way they carry guns. I believe there are four ways that men use their manhood, and I will compare these to four different ways that men use guns.


First we see the absent man; the lack of manhood. This manhood is similar to the gun hidden in a closet and never used. There is also the empty man who looks the part and feels tough. In truth he is just as empty as a gun on display. Then there is the destructive man whose trigger goes off at the first sign of trouble. Lastly, there is the man who uses his manhood like a police or military personnel would use his gun. It is a precision weapon in the hands of a highly trained and skilled professional.