Daddy Moments

It was a moment, a moment that I hope will change my children’s lives. It was a simple moment. It was a moment that I could have easily let slip away. I was on the couch reading when my daughter came into the room in the way that only 2 year old girls can. As she ran into the room she sang very loudly, “Watch me do flips, Daddy. Watch me do flips, Daddy.” My first reaction was to explain to her that I was busy reading and that I could watch her later. Instead, I dropped my book and turned my full attention to her. I watched her attempt somersaults about three times. I then told her what a wonderful job she was doing at ‘flipping.’ At that point, I thought the moment was over. I was wrong. She seemed to be addicted to my attention. The more I watched, the more flips she wanted to do, and the more flips she did, the more I was supposed to watch. After about the fifth series of flips I wanted to get back to my book, however, something inside me knew I was supposed to watch her until she was done; giving her all the attention and support she could handle. So, I did. 

In that moment I felt the Holy Spirt telling me this is what my kids need most from me. They need my full attention in the little moments. I need to give them my undivided attention even when what they want me to watch are poor attempts at somersaults. They need to see they are the highest priority in my life. All of the little things in life that steal my moments can be put on hold. So many times I have dismissed what my kids were showing me. I have half-heartedly shown an interest in a drawing or a color page or distractedly praised the lego car they made. In that moment I was convicted of this attitude. 

This “ah-ha” moment motivated me to change. I know God has called me to be a father to my children not just in the big moments in life, but in the little moments, too. I have to admit that I’ve been failing. My prayer is that, like me, you will take the time to let go of distractions in your life and grab hold of those moments with your kids. 

Walls of Character

The other day I was building a retaining wall to support a parking pad off the side of my garage. I decided to try and find some Hedge tree fence posts for the structure of the retaining wall. Hedge is known for its ability to withstand rotting for a very long period of time.  I found a large tree on a friend’s property that I could use. Just cutting the wood took me a couple days separated by a couple months and a few minor repairs to my chain saw. Eventually, I had the proper number of fence posts ready to go. I then began the even more labor intensive task of actually building the retaining wall. The wall didn’t have to be very high; only a couple feet at the highest point. I did, however, have to set the main support posts deep into the ground in order to ensure my wall would hold the weight of dirt, gravel and any vehicle. 

As I was building this wall in the 95 degree heat, a thought occurred to me. This wall is like my character and my manhood. As I thought about it more, I drew a connection between building a wall to last and building my character to last. I was sweating to death in the heat, digging deep into hard soil and I just wanted it to get done! I wanted to start taking short cuts. I wanted to stop digging the post holes so deep. I wanted the wall to be done now.

In the same way, I want my character to be built now. I want to be that great man now! 

As I was finishing the wall I felt like God was telling me that it takes time and hard work to build character that lasts. In the end though, that character, like a well built wall, will withstand more than character built on short-sided wants. God is building me to last. This brought encouragement to my heart and my aching body. I think that the Holy Spirit builds all of us like this. It takes time, it takes work, it takes pain and some days you want to take short cuts. However, the Holy Sprit and our God has a great plan for our lives, our manhood and our character. If we will let him build us up with the proper mix of materials, depth of faith and trust in his plan, then in his timing we will be men of God that can withstand any weight that is pressed against us.

Action or Inaction: That is the ?

It occurred to me the other day after another lapse of sin in my life, that as we are living our lives we generally are not trapped by our actions, but rather by our inaction. For example, when we struggle with a sin or a short fall in our lives we look at it like “man why do I keep committing this sin”? I have noticed that in my life my lapses come from not what sin I am acting on, but rather what actions in Christ I am not taking. 

Let me explain. Lets say that I struggle with anger in my life. I have a problem with blowing up at my kids and my wife over little things that happen around the house. Or if I don’t blow up, I say mean resentful comments to those I love when I feel they haven’t performed the way I think they should. Well you and I both agree that I should learn to control my anger I should not be lashing out at my family. That is not how Christ would want me to interact with my family. However, I would say that my biggest short fall is in what I don’t do and not what I do. If I was to run to Christ and pray for protection and seek his peace for my life constantly through out the day I would not struggle to keep my anger in check. If I was to take action when I knew the attacks from the enemy were at their highest I would be more successful at interacting with my family in loving ways. 

However instead of constantly engaging with Christ what I find myself and I am sure you find yourself doing is maybe praying in the morning before the day starts and then never giving another thought about my spiritual life throughout the day. I give into inaction, we all do. We have fallen again through our lack of acting and engaging constantly throughout the day. We have to be on high alert all day everyday if we are to keep ourselves in check and tuned in to the Spirit of God. I know the battle is not easy, but victory is worth every last fight. Victory over an enemy that would love nothing more than for us than to live lives of apathy and continual separation from God’s plan and will for our lives. You can fight, you  can win, you can engage in your spirituality daily. 

All it takes is to be listening for the enemy trying to tempt you. When you hear or see it, don’t just listen or give in, fight back. In the name of Jesus, fight back, make him leave you alone. Then pray for the Holy Spirt to help you with the next attack. As the day goes on you will get quicker and quicker at recognizing the attacks and your defense will become faster and faster. You will gradually become a stronger man for your God, your family and your friends. Try it some day, try it tomorrow. See if yo don’t find yourself not being tripped up and distracted by the little things in life. 

Adrenaline Junkie

Since childhood, one of my favorite hobbies has been bike riding. As I grew older my bikes changed as well. I spent a of time enjoying the standard BMX bike and grew into loving mountain bikes. After college I even discovered an entirely new way to ride a mountain bike. During a family vacation to Whistler, British Columbia, Canada I discovered downhill and free-ride mountain biking. This form of mountain biking is a little different from regular mountain biking in that you are riding a bike with more suspension travel than most cars, and to ensure safety at high speeds the braking system consisting of hydraulic disc brakes are more modern and powerful that the brakes on my first truck. You might be wondering “Why would anyone need that kind of suspension and brakes on a mountain bike?” The answer would be...crazy people who enjoy taking the chair lifts of a ski resort to the top of the mountain and riding down the trails as fast as they possibly can. I became one of those people on that vacation. 

I have always been something of an adrenaline junkie. I love to push my limits of fear and mental focus. Participating in high speed and high risk “extreme” sports makes me feel like I am exploring and using the far reaches of my skills, abilities and talents. I have to be so focused on what I am doing that I am not distracted by what might go wrong. 

I was thinking about how this relates to my life spiritually; how this relates to my relationship with Christ. I was thinking,“Am I living my life like I ride my mountain bike? Am I treating my relationship with Christ like I ride my bike?” After a little reflection I realized that my answer was ‘no.’ I am not living my life or participating in my relationship with Christ like I ride my bike. I am not living in a relationship with Christ that pushes me to the edge of control. I am not living in a relationship that forces me to focus my heart on Christ so much that nothing else around me can bother my focus. I am not living in a relationship that takes me to the  extremes in a way that others look at me like I am crazy when I describe what I am doing for Christ.

The thing is, I think this is the type of relationship Christ wants us to have with Him. After pondering this a bit, I began to think about one of Jesus' parables.  It is known as the parable of the talents. Jesus tells a story of three servants that have been entrusted with a portion of their masters wealth. The master is going on a trip and wants the servants to take care of some of his money while he is gone. When the master returns from the trip he calls his servants to report what they have done with their portions of money. The first two servants have been taking risks with the money and have invested the it. Both of these servants were able to double the money entrusted to them. The master praises their skills and their willingness to take risk. The third servant decided that it was too much of a risk to invest; he was scared of what the master might do to him if he lost any of the money. He hides it in the ground for the duration of the master’s trip. The master in the story scolds the servant calling him wicked and lazy! To me, Jesus seems to be saying that we can’t just cruise through this life. We can’t get by without taking risks for the kingdom of heaven. We have to live a life and live in a relationship with him that involves risk. The cool thing about this is that when we focus our attention on Christ, just like bombing down a mountain on a bike, we are able to lean on our talents and we come out of this life with successful investments of each talent Christ entrusted us with.

The Matrix: The Strength To Fight

“I know you’re out there, I can feel you now. I know that you’re afraid. You’re afraid of us, afraid of change. I don’t know the future, I didn’t come here to tell you how this was going to end. I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I’m going to hang up this phone and then I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I’m going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders and boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.” - Neo, from the Matrix.

This quote popped into my head the other day and it got me thinking. I was thinking about the Matrix movie and how it relates to real life. Before we come into a relationship with Christ we are like the people stuck in the Matrix. We are totally blind to the reality of our lives. Then, at some point someone comes along and reveals to us the nature of our lives; how there is freedom from the life that we are stuck living. In the movie, Neo is one such person who is presented with the option to know the truth about his circumstances or to stay within the fantasy world never knowing true freedom. After his choice, he comes to find out that there has been a prophecy about him and his life. It is said that he is “The One.” Neo struggles with what is perceived to be the “call” on his life to save the rest of the people of the known world. He is told that he is the only one who can save the people from the trap that is the Matrix. He feels torn between the need to rescue the other people in the Matrix and his own fears of not being good enough to be “The One.”

This seems to be the struggle that we all face, right? We all have insecurities and fears about our talents. I know I struggle with this every day. I struggle with knowing who I am, what my lot in life is and whether I am making a difference in the world. Mostly, I struggle with knowing whether or not I am doing what Jesus wants me to do. Am I being the person that Jesus wants me to be? I want to be like Neo. I want to find the strength to dodge bullets, fight off five bad guys at a time and not be afraid of the enemy that is controlling my friends and family. I want to be that guy. I want to be the hero in the story of my life. I feel to this point I haven’t even come close. I feel like the Neo who first entered the Matrix and had to be rescued from death...by a girl. I think about what it will take to step up and save the lives and souls of those around me and it scares me a little. This fear almost makes me want to go back to the life I was living...the one in the gel filled tubes and living a mindless existence. 

Just when I have almost given into these feelings I hear a small voice, the same voice that is talking to all of us, saying, “I will give you strength...you can do this.” I feel Jesus calling us. He is calling us to rely on him to calm our fears; to strengthen our weaknesses. He can and will transform our lives. He will give us the strength to stay in the fight and the confidence to call out to our enemies like Neo. The great thing about this transformation is how it happens. It is a transformation that happens through simply being in His presence. It happens through nothing that we do ourselves, but rather through hearing God teach us where we need to rely on Him for strength. This, to me, is the greatness, the awesomeness and even the beauty of knowing Christ. Being with Christ today and tomorrow means He is working in me. He is working in you, too. He gives us the strength to be like Neo. We can dodge bullets, defeat any bad guy who stands in our way and, maybe, even fly...we just have to let go and let him use us.   

Letting Go: Finding Relationship with Christ

Lately, I have been thinking about and hearing Christ speak to me about his disciples. I have been admiring and reflecting on how Christ accepted them and invited them into relationship just the way they were. I think of how the first disciples were mere fishermen. Fishermen today are a tough bunch of guys, they talk tough, drink hard and work harder. They are hard men making a tough living. These are not typically the kind of guys you would find in our churches today. I also think about Luke, a tax collector. He, too, was called to follow Jesus just as he was. The tax collector image today doesn’t have nearly the negative connotation that it did in Jesus’ day. It seems that ambulance chasing lawyers are a better picture of how the tax collectors were thought of. Jesus didn’t ask these guys to take inventory of the sin in their lives and then pray the sinner’s prayer before allowing them into relationship. He simply said, “Follow me.” In other words, live with me and I will show you how rich life can be. It was through a relationship with Jesus, spending time with him and listening to him speak that the disciples came to be the great men of faith that we know them as.

This revelation has challenged me to look at the way I approach my walk with Christ. Until recently, I have been treating my relationship with Christ like a list of do’s and don’ts. I have been caught up in trying to be close to Christ through forcing prayer time and forcing reading time. I have attempted to live up to an expectation for my walk with Christ. I only recently have given up those expectations of what a “good” or “healthy” Christianity looks like. I have resolved to simply have a relationship with Christ. I have resolved to simply talk with him, have him lead me and have him show me and tell me what he wants me to hear. This has made all the difference in my life. I have felt an amazing sense of relief; a freedom to be who I am in the presence of Jesus. The intimacy I have with Christ has increased tenfold.

The amazing and mildly ironic thing about all of this is that I have reached this point of relationship by letting go of expectations rather than accepting them. It has only been the act of letting go of my expectations of what a healthy relationship with Christ looks like that I actually reached a healthy relationship with Christ. I now look forward to getting up early enough to have an hour of alone time with Christ. I feel like I can’t stop reading the Bible or books about Jesus. I have found this to be refreshing and embarrassingly simple. I challenge you to let go. Let go of your expectations and ideas of what a “healthy” relationship with Christ is supposed to look like. Let go and simply follow him. Stop talking… listen… hear from him.

Being With God: Just Be

The other day I was reading my Bible and having quiet time when something happened that changed my view of my relationship with God. I had been up since 6:00, started a pot of coffee and finished reading the daily One Year Bible readings. I had also just finished reading a chapter in Walking with God by John Eldredge. After I was finished reading I started my typical prayer time of sitting in the quiet listening for God to speak to me about the day and my life. I had just started praying when I heard my son’s footsteps coming up the stairs. This is my son that wakes up with a burst of energy and ready for the day. My immediate thought was, “Great, there goes my quiet prayer time.” Then another thought came to my head, “What if I invite him to participate with me.” So, I invited him to come over and sit on my lap. I told him that I was just about to pray for a bit and invited him to pray with me. It was great; we sat and prayed silently together for a few minutes. Just a few minutes praying together in the morning felt right…it felt good… it was a feeling that I had never felt before as a parent. After we prayed together he sat on my lap for a few more minutes and we simply sat together…talked together…were together. We didn’t converse in a very profound way; we simply talked about the day and about the things that he was excited about. I was able to give him my opinions on a few things. Nothing monumental happened. It was just felt right being together in the quiet morning and hearing him express his excitement about his life to me.




It wasn’t until later that it dawned on me that this must be what God meant for our relationship with him to be like: simple, relaxed, intimate, personal, real, honest and daily. James was simply being with his dad; I was simply being with my son. We weren’t following some ten step check list on how to know each other better. I simply invited him into my presence, onto my lap and we were together. I think of Adam and his relationship with God. The account in Genesis 3 says that Adam and Eve heard God walking in the garden. Verse 9 says “Then the Lord God called to the man ‘Where are you?’” God was not just walking in the garden looking for Adam; he was calling for him inviting him to walk with him. After the tragedy of the fall and sin the ability for true relationship was broken until Jesus came to earth and died, as a sacrifice, to restore that relationship. In the book of John Jesus prays for all believers, that we would be intimate with him as he is intimate with the Father. This intimacy comes from just being in his presence, not through rules, not through doing the right thing, not through acting like you are good enough to be a friend of God. To restore our relationship with God we start by simply entering the presence of God. Enter his presence, curl up on his lap, talk. Tell him what makes you excited, nervous, scared and moved. Then wait. Continue to stay in his presence and listen for his response. You may feel something that you have never felt before. You will feel a deep intimacy with a Father that knows you and loves you with all that he has.